How marriages are affected by DMD

Members: 86
Latest Activity: Jan 21, 2013


Duchennes brought us closer

Started by Jane Williams. Last reply by Sharyn Thompson Aug 19, 2008. 3 Replies

What lifted the fog?

Started by MicahsDaddy. Last reply by Sharyn Thompson Aug 6, 2008. 2 Replies

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Comment by Julie Gilmore on August 15, 2009 at 10:20am
HI Tanya,

Well I am finally getting time to update our status. Mick and I have made it through the toughest 18 months ever, and are now going better than ever.

Quite a long story so I will save you all the gory details, but short of saying Duchenne was involved, but in the form of a mother of another boy.......

Just when you think this disease is all out of surprises it goes and throws you a curve ball.! Can laugh about it now, but at the time it was anything but funny. A lot of things have changed, most for the better... some friendships have been lost, but I guess if that is the worst of the collateral damage, then we came out of it well.

Hope you and yours are still keeping well, and greetings to everyone else in the group :)

Comment by Sharyn Thompson on August 3, 2009 at 9:32am
My husband and I are about to celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary and the birth of our 4th child (due August 13th). Our eldest son was diagnosed 3 years ago on September 1st and is doing quite well. As for our marriage, it has grown even stronger since we moved from Singapore to London in NOvember last year. We have no friends or family here, so have come to depend on each other much more, and that has brought a new respect and deeper friendship between us. With 4 kids (and DMD) we know our life together will never be "easy" but we make the most of what we have and take joy in our children each day. I find myself having many dark days, thinking of James' future, but I am lucky that Julian manages to make me smile and help bring me back up into the light again. I consider myself to be one of the luckiest women in the world!! DMD or not, I have an amazing family and am surrounded by an incredible amount of love!
Comment by Teresa Buchanan on July 30, 2009 at 3:27am
My husband and I have been married for 12 years. We have two children together and he is a wonderful father to Cody, DMD, 16 years old. He's been with me since Cody was 18 months old and Cody hasn't seen his biological father in about 10 years.

Our marriage has had it's ups and downs but we are a strong couple and right now we are having another down with Cody just starting hospice on July the 21st of this year.
Comment by christine good on July 29, 2009 at 9:14pm
My husband and I have been married for 15 years. Found out about Duchenne almost 2 years ago. Our marraige is very rocky at the moment and considering a seperation.
Comment by Susan Rathfelder on July 29, 2009 at 2:00pm
My hubby, Dave and I have been married for 25 years and have 3 kids, two daughters ages 23 and 20 and our son who turned 18 in March. Life seems to be really tiring lately. Jon has just undergone the third and last procedure for kidney stones, we just got his first full power chair and have been struggling with the vendor to get some things changed so Jon can actually use it. They picked it up yesterday, so we will see. We are looking for a new van so we can actually transport the chair and shopping for anything with an engineer is more time consuming :). Dave has been having to bring a lot of work home and will be traveling at least one week in August maybe 2, which means I have to do all this by myself. I don't know how single parents do this day in and day out, my hat is off to you. Jon seems to not be able to do things he could do just a month ago, these changes are hard. With all of this and being the parents to three young adults we are just kind of functioning right now, doing what we can to just get through the day. This is not the way I envisioned living my life, but it is what it is.
Comment by Samantha Dearing on July 29, 2009 at 12:19pm
Ken and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary in May. We are doing really good. We split Justin(and our other kids care) 50/50. We still have our problems, but we are doing really good.

Comment by Donnie and Linda Owens-Jacob Owens on July 29, 2009 at 8:18am
Hi Tanya,
Donnie and I separated on 01/01/09 and the divorce was final in June. I have custody of Jacob. I'm still struggling with the divorce and having to deal with the everyday issues of our lives by myself. Donnie sees Jacob about twice a week and calls him sometimes but Jacob doesn't like to talk on the phone. Jacob is 8 years old now and still very active which is a blessing. I'm trying to take one day at a time and pray for God's direction and guidance in our lives.
Comment by jenn on July 29, 2009 at 7:17am
Tanya, so you'd like an update on our current relationships....i am married, it was our first anniversary july 12th! it was not an easy year. we have 5 kids, the oldest two are my boys and have duchenne. the middle two are his and don't and our baby also does not have duchenne. our relationship is good considering our stress levels are through the roof. we own our own company, and my father and step father work with my husband. also my dad moved in in november and that is not without it's complications. most of the time we laugh together and parent as a team, i consider myself lucky to have him here to be a dad to my boys, it has been about 5 years since their bio dad had any part in their lives. the trouble we run into lately is that he doesn't always have his head in the game when he is home, he is always thinking about work and leaves most of the home and kid stuff to me which can be pretty lonely at times.
it was great of you to ask for updates, it is good to know how everyone is doing.... for us, we lived through a year and don't hate eachother yet!
Comment by Tanya Fleming on April 10, 2009 at 11:21am
Kurt you really seem to understand the difference between women and men, I have read book after book on this subject. The reason is men usually just operate on the left side of the brain and us women use both sides of the brain. Men can come over to the right side, but that is the feeling side, and they like to stay on the left side. Here is the way someone put it to me, MEN are like waffles, they have these little compartments that they put things in and store them for a later time to handle, especially if it is something they can't deal with at the present time. WOMEN are like Spag noodles, we keep going and going, especailly if a need is not met. We just don't stop, with the feelings needing to be met.
There is a hard road ahead of you, but in my opinion as a mom with three boys and a carrier daughter, stay positive, remember that this day will not repeat itself, and make it the best day possible for your son and you and your wife must make time for yourselves, if you don't it will effect your marriage. Date nights, or weekends away once in awhile will make such a difference. My husband and I are separated, but working on things, we have been married 20 years and of those 20 we have taken one vacation, we are always about the kids, so I say this all from experience. You have to still remain the couple. I like everything you wrote.
Comment by Joshua's mom on April 8, 2009 at 11:55am
Thank you Kurt! I think that is what we were talking about. You are right when women are encouraged to open up and share and men are encouraged to fix. Any more dad's perspectives would be great as well. We moms are in need of understanding where you men are in dealing with this.


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