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Bereaved Parents

For those who have lost a child.

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Latest Activity: May 3, 2020

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Comment by sharon davies on April 3, 2009 at 5:32am
hi everyone hope all of you are doing ok thinking of our boys always.i did not go and visit matthews grave yesterday and i have never felt so guilty i know i should not feel that way but just cant help myself. I just miss him so much dont know what to do with myself i dont work so got nothing to keep my mind going ,its six weeks today when matthew passed it just happened so quick there was nothing wrong with him the day before he passed went into hospital was only there for an hour and half then matthew was gone just cant get over that happened so quick but he was sleeping when it happened so was very peiceful just matthew and me the rest of the family did not get there in time. I brought matthew into the world and was with him when he left this world . All i can say is that the very happy times far out weigh the sad and hard times it was a pleasure being matthews mother for nearly 18 years as you all know it was a pleasure being mothers to your own boys they will always be a part of us and will live in our hearts forever. I am finding things very hard like the rest of you dont like people not talking about matthew i would rather they would so i know that he is not being forgotten .

My thoughts and love are with all of you.
take care love sharon and family xxx
Comment by Mary Sahagun on April 2, 2009 at 2:53pm
Thank you Ana
Comment by Ana on April 1, 2009 at 1:00pm
Hi Sharon

I am so sorry to hear of Matthew's passing. We know our boys are in a better place - but our hearts break. May Matthew rest in peace and I pray that he's in heaven enjoying himself with all of our boys who have gone before him. I somehow like to picture my son waiting at the gates of heaven to welcome your son with all the other DMD boys.........

hugs & my deepest condolences
Ana & family
Comment by Ana on April 1, 2009 at 12:54pm
I want to send my love to Mary and her family. Yesterday was the 2nd year anniversary of her son Kenny's passing from earth into heaven. Mary & family I hope you all had a peaceful day yesterday. I hope that you 'found' Kenny sometime yesterday - like in the sunshine - or a smell - or a sound - anything from Kenny to say hey guys I'm still here with you! I pray that you all found some happy moments despite your hearts being so heavy. It never gets easier. No matter how many years pass a mother's heart will NEVER heal from the loss of her precious child.

Kimberly - thanks for your note! I feel a little more normal knowing that I am not the only one with these thoughts. I also feel very comforted that I am not the only one experiencing coldness from friends & families whenever I speak of Jeffrey. One thing I realize I still and always will do - is to sign Jeffrey's name on all birthday, christmas & easter cards! I blow off the strange looks and no longer care. Just because Jeffrey is no longer living on this planet and I can no longer see or hug him - he's still very much alive in my heart! Until the day I leave this planet I will alway put Jeffrey's name on anything going out from my family!

hugs Ana
Comment by Gisel Rivero on March 31, 2009 at 2:31pm
Sharon am sooo sorry to hear about your son Matthew, but know that we are here for you to talk whenever you need.
Comment by sharon davies on March 31, 2009 at 8:56am
thank you kim i will remember and talk about all the wonderful memories of all our boys thanks xx
Comment by Kimberly Foernsler on March 31, 2009 at 8:22am
Sharon:

I'm so sorry to hear about Matthew!! Please know that we are here for you and you can share anything. We love to talk about memories we have of our boys. Again I'm so sorry!!!

Love,
Kim
Comment by sharon davies on March 31, 2009 at 8:15am
just saying hi
Comment by Kimberly Foernsler on March 30, 2009 at 6:16pm
Ana:

Your words are so kind!!
I read this on March 26th after Kory's birthday. I bought Kory a cake on the 25th so that me, Adam, Howie & Kellie could have our own little private celebration of Kory's birthday. When I was telling the lady to write "Happy Birthday Kory" the thought entered my mind about Kory's rebirth and that March 25th really wasn't his birthday anymore. His birthday is now August 31. I didn't feel this way last year on his birthday but suddenly this year I had a wierd feeling when I telling her what to write. I almost had her write "Happy 18th birthday Kory" but something about that felt odd to me this year. It was really strange when I read your comment below because that was exactly how I was feeling on Kory's "earthly birthday".

I know what you mean about certain people thinking we should just be "over it" or move on for our other children. You can never replace any of other children. Kellie & Adam are so different than Kory. One of my friends here seems so cold when it comes to me talking about Kory. It like she's thinking well you still have Adam. She doesn't say it that bluntly but that's the feeling I get around her. Sometimes it seems like so many people think I should be "over it". I'll never be over it. I never want to forget about Kory and these special days. I have to admit that I am healing and that somethings get easier but then there are days like birthdays that are harder than others. I don't ever want Adam to forget that he has a big brother.

Sorry to rattle on it was just really strange reading your comments after I had those same feeling the day before.

Adam was a little confused by the cake. He wanted to know if I was sending it to Heaven. I told them that Kory would come in while we were sleeping and get some for himself and all the other Angels. He sung "Happy Birthday" to Kory!! I'm sure that Kory heard him!!
Comment by Ana on March 25, 2009 at 5:30pm
Hi Kimberly - I want to send my birthday wishes to Kory. Amazing how most of our boys are all the same age. First Jeffrey's 18th - then Kory's - then Kenny's later in the year and Christopher Tanya's son. I am so sorry for the mothers who loose their boys at a very young age. I guess no age is a good time to loose our precious angels.

You know - I was thinking the other day - I celebrated Jeffrey's 18th birthday on 4th March. Then I realize that the 4th March was the day of his earthly birthday. The bigger celebration is his true birthday - the one which he was reborn into heaven - that being 12th November. Although I have to admit that I will be sad and depressed that day as I was last November as we had Jeff's first anniversary in heaven. Although I know Jeffrey is better off in heaven and is no longer in pain - I miss that young man like crazy. He had such a unique way about him. He was a boy of little words but his expressions were priceless.

So although we recognize the day we gave birth to our boys I know God celebrates the day our boys went home - to heaven and to God's warm welcoming arms.

This life is a journey. With many valleys and mountains to waddle through. Sometimes I sit back and shake my head in amazement at all we've lived through. There are so many of us around the world - mothers who bury their precious children for one reason or another. Many mothers sit home in empty homes. Many beds are empty. Beds that were filled with warm bodies of loved sons & daughters. Many graves are filled and are adorned with flowers and momentos. Many headstones forever stand as the only proof that a loved one exhisted. My biggest fear is that Jeffrey will be forgotten.

Just yesterday at work a friend of mine who is expecting her 3rd child made a remark 'people with 1 child are selfish - you only have Gabriella what's your problem why won't you have another'. I looked at her in disbelief and said 'are you kidding me? Do you not remember that up until a year and a half ago I was the mother of two live children?' she looked at me and said 'oh yeah I forgot sorry' and started giggling (I think it was a nervous giggle as she saw how upset I was). How many of us here will be spoken to like that in the future? How do we answer the question "how many kids do you have?" I still answer 2. I don't go into detail. I just say 2 and leave it at that. But I was suddenly reminded hey wait a minute you were here during my son's death how could you forget? And it dawned on me that one day Jeffrey will be but a memory. I sadly see how my own immediate family (mom, dad, sister & brother) go on with their lives as if Jeffrey never exhisted. They don't talk about him and don't understand my saddness or depression. They don't see the tears and turn away whenever I happen to mention anything about Jeffrey. Now I just stay away and don't bother.

All these things bring great saddness to me and makes my heart bleed. I try so hard to keep Jeffrey's memory alive at home. Just yesterday I was saying to Gabriella that we must never forget Jeffrey and remember and love him forever (thanks Kenny for the words) and she said I know mommy I will love Jeffrey forever. She was only 4 when he passed away. She will be 6 in a couple of months. I don't remember anything of my life at age 4. Will she ever forget Jeffrey?

hugs all and thanks for allowing me to speak..........
 

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