When families and friends become more of a burden...

I don't know if it is me or just a fact that life is full of whiners. People, especially family members are so involved with their problems and issues and make the HUGE mistake of whining to me about it that I have to swallow my disgust and carry on with compassion. It is getting much worse to swallow probably because eventually most people go back to their normal and begin to whine again about their problems. The thing is I don't ever whine (except now on this board) since my son's diagnosis. I figure it is something that needs to be understood, accepted and made better and whining just adds to the seriousness of what we are dealing with. So I just sit their and nod my head and say, "Yeah that sucks, yeah that's not good" all along thinking to myself, "you have no clue how pathetic you are being right now." It's like me talking to a parent with a child having hours to live because of a brain tumor and telling them about my son and his muscle issues. I wouldn't do that, maybe because I am more in tune with reality. I just don't get these people. They are like aliens to me and they are my family and friends.

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Comment by Wendy Juzwiak on July 24, 2011 at 11:13pm
So true!  My husband and I talk about this all the time.  We get so frustrated when people bring up small problems that they can TAKE CARE OF when we have so much going on with our child and his health!  So frustrating!
Comment by Jacobs Mommom on April 20, 2009 at 4:44pm
We have been thrown into a whole new way of looking at life. I have always been compassionate and for the underdog per say so I have always been impatient with people whining about petty things but now believe it or not I actually think that I'm more tolerant of those people or maybe it's just becoming easier to ignore them because I've got bigger fish to fry. As far as friends, I've let quite a few fall by the wayside since Jacob's diagnosis because a true friend is there to back up up and call and ask how we are doing and if they can't do that like I have done for all of them then it's time for everyone to move on.
Comment by jenn on April 20, 2009 at 8:01am
i have a great family, but have very limited amount of friends, i think they just weren't sure what to say to me. i do get annoyed when i start to tell my friend about my son's being put on heart meds, and she cuts in to bitch about one of her kids being a brat or something. it's hard though because everyone has their own stuff going on, we ( duchennes families ) have to remember that we deal with a catastrophe every moment of our lives, so when our kid gets a bad grade, or our baby has a runny nose its just not noteworthy. i love what you said, marcos dad, about the brain tumor being worse, but im not sure everyone would agree, how do we rate on the scale of horrible things happening to our kids? its all bad, no kid should ever suffer, i sometimes though cancer would be easier, it's either cured or not, our families are looking at 20 or godwilling 30 years of disease. im not going to say one is better or worse, i have just learned that to be a good friend, daughtor, wife etc i need to value everyones complaints, to them it's what is a big deal at the moment. i think we are better people because of it.that said, when my friend cut in while i was talking about Austin's heart problem, i politely excused myself and called my mother.
Comment by Laurie Hoovestol on April 20, 2009 at 1:37am
I hear you! We attended the funeral of my husbands uncle/and very good friend to him. Our son who is 17 was very annoyed that people kept coming up to him and talking really loud and really slow. Just because he is in a wheelchair they automaticly think he has more than a physical impairment. I feel so bad for him that people just don't understand the disease and don't bother too find out more about it. Anyway that's my complaint for the day :)
Comment by Char Burke on April 20, 2009 at 12:15am
I hear you Marco's dad....I still have family and friends who confuse MD with MS. But, maybe I was like those guys before I experienced DMD. God forbid that I was but, I probably was....I wish people especially family and friends would get it. They usually say - wow - he looks good....Feel free to vent away b/c really, it is good for you to vent - and we all do understand here....and, we won't ever, ever think you are bitching. It's reality! Char Burke

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