I have not traveled the easiest road to say the least; I have found myself penniless, destitute, hurt, and lonely. I have been lied to, cheated on, and belittled. My ability to trust and rely on others has been shaken. These roads sucked and I would not wish my worst enemy to travel a single one. But I have quickly learned these roads do not compare the the road I must now face. I am faced with the possibility I will lose my son to a fatal disease that slowly robs him of ability to walk, eat, speak and breath; there is no cure and no treatment. But if there is anything I have learned over the years it is to never give up. I will not give up, I will not let this disease defeat us, we will be victorious. I am a strong, determined woman who will let no one & nothing defeat her or her children. There is a reason my son was given to me, it is because I am capable of fighting for him, I can withstand the difficult road we will face and he will ALWAYS be able to count on me. I feel so blessed to have been given each one of my children, they are my purpose. My beautiful children are the reason I wake up each day, why I fight for and expect a better life and why I will do everything in my power to provide them with the happiest, most peaceful and most secure childhood.

There are times where I am overwhelmed with sadness, frustration and guilt for not making better decisions in life and for allowing others to hurt us. I am afraid of what lies ahead and what I will be forced to face alone. All these feelings keep me down, they hinder my progress and hurdle me off the road to victory. NO MORE!! I will not allow these negative feelings to rob me or my children from the path we are meant to travel for I know beyond a doubt better things are just ahead. I will pray everyday for a cure, I will pray every minute for a miracle, I will shower my children with all the love that is possible knowing we are not guaranteed tomorrow, only this moment. These moments will be the most important moments of their lives and we will support one another and be strong for one another because WE are a family.

Yes, I will stumble...but I will not fail. We may lose a battle here and there, but the we WILL win the war.

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Comment by kimmy watters on January 11, 2013 at 2:48pm

dear nicole  your sprit is amazing, i to feel the same way about our fight for a cure dmd will one day be no more.today and right now is important, not tomorrow  .kimmy

Comment by Andrea Cleary on January 11, 2013 at 9:25am

Dear Nicole,

I like your spirit.

Please remember your own bright  words in the dark days that will inevitably come, the days when you will feel that you have been defeated and like last July's roadkill. I think a lot of us can see-saw from optimistic hope and a fighting spirit to battle-weary despair, all within 24hours (and that is okay). It's the balance that's hard to find. Nobody can fight ALL the time.

Keep your chin up (but watch out for those left hooks).


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