help

I looked down at the stairs leading to the Target Field baseball diamond. Sensing the leather front row seats calling to my son Josiah.
We watched momentarily as people climbed the stairs. Certainly getting
him down there would not require to much effort but the return trip up
would demand more muscle strength. Force I was not sure I might be
capable of. With out hesitation my Josiah was on his way down the steps
on the back of a family friend. Its a gift to have family and close
friends who instinctively know when to jump in and help without being
asked.

At a recent physical for my sons, I had asked their doctor half
lightheartedly if perhaps I could be prescribed steroids. Smiling, I
waited for a response. Our eyes engaged briefly in silence, he finally
chuckled telling me it might change my feminine petite features some.
At a point in my life now where lifting my sons was becoming a real
hardship I felt myself feeling desperate. My son Cody out weighed me by
five pounds, each day I felt more strain lifting him. I was willing to
bargain, barter, to trade in my thin figure for any amount of muscle
that might allow me to continue to maneuver and meet my sons needs with
out needing assistance every time we went somewhere. If I could only
have some extra muscle strength, just to have the ability to transfer
Cody from one place to the next without the fear of dropping him or
falling myself. I was not given steroids but I was encouraged to keep
up my hope. I am not exactly sure what hope and the ability to lift my
son have in common if anything. Hope I knew I did have, it was muscle
Duchenne was taking from my sons and requiring me to gain.


Today though it felt good to not view the stairs as a threat. I was
happy to see Josiah be apart of the crowd. I was pleased he was able to
have the opportunity to experience something that was important to him.
He did not have to sit on the side and watch other children go where he
was not able. It felt good to not have my own limits affect my son.

Even though lifting Josiah for me was not so much of a struggle right now,
new challenges were beginning to face us each day. As much as I fought
as a single parent I knew our time was coming when we would rely and
need outside help more. Sitting next to Josiah I looked out at the
people around us, watching other children move freely about. There at
my side was my beautiful son, content with having the opportunity to be
in that stadium seat, not asking for anything more. We enjoyed the
afternoon with my niece and her friend. Touring all that Target Field
offered Josiah had no limits to where he could go and what he could
see. We confronted obstacles and accepted help with out feeling like a
burden. I am blessed, I have family willing to take whatever extra step
needed to be there for me and my sons. Always knowing exactly when to
be the extra muscle and allowing me and my sons to keep some pride and
dignity.