Rita Felling's Blog (38)

seasons

I listened as a friend told me about how much he was enjoying the

football season and his son playing. He shared with me the joy he felt

watching his son play quarterback. Giving me highlights of the most

recent football game, proudly he spoke of how well his son played his

position. The force, skill and strength his son was developing left

him with immense joy. I listened happy for him, as he talked to me

about fitting the boys in their equipment and the… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on October 12, 2010 at 11:34pm — 4 Comments

There was a time when I packed my dreams away. I felt fear surround me. Afraid of the unknown and tormented by what I knew would be the future. Unable to look past the pain that had become so much ap…

There was a time when I packed my

dreams away. I felt fear surround me. Afraid of the unknown and

tormented by what I knew would be the future. Unable to look past the

pain that had become so much apart of our complicated lives. I was

consumed by desperation and destined to keep hope alive. I had seen

death. I knew the horrific pain Duchenne brought to the lives of its

victims and their families. I knew its grasp only tightened as it

progressed to complete its… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on October 5, 2010 at 8:20pm — 1 Comment

mom

Friday, May 7, 2010

On occasion I have to admit time off from Mommy duty is like being handed time in a bottle. Rare and priceless, for some of us. As women we embrace date night, girls night out or even just time alone relaxing. Times we look forward to and deserve. Divorce has certainly given me some well earned free time. But every now and then a weekend or night where I have no plans occurs and I feel at a lost to the world. I wonder who am I with out my children or a date to remind me… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on May 8, 2010 at 12:36am — No Comments

friends

friends

I read a book about man who wanted to go hike the Appalachian trail. Having ventured myself to hike sections of this enormous trail I was

very intrigued to read about his journey. He sent out post cards and

emails to former colleges and acquaintances in hopes to find someone

who may want to…
Continue

Added by Rita Felling on April 6, 2010 at 1:10am — No Comments

help

I looked down at the stairs leading to the Target Field baseball diamond. Sensing the leather front row seats calling to my son Josiah.

We watched momentarily as people climbed the stairs. Certainly getting

him down there would not require to much effort but the return trip up

would demand more muscle strength. Force I was not sure I might be

capable of. With out hesitation my Josiah was on his way down the steps

on the back of a…
Continue

Added by Rita Felling on March 28, 2010 at 4:32am — 3 Comments

inside

I attended a basketball game at my

youngest sons charter school this evening. Part of the schools March

Madness celebration. I had managed to talk my Cody into joining Josiah

and I for the nights festivities. Upon entering the school Cody began

to show signs of feeling uncomfortable. It was his first visit back to

this school since he had graduated from the eighth grade last spring.

Feeling the need to encourage him I searched eagerly for teachers and

staff… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on March 10, 2010 at 12:00pm — No Comments

paths

Saturday, March 6, 2010







I watched from my sun room as my dog attempted to climb over the wall of snow we had piled in a semi-circle outside our door. The idea worked

wonderfully keeping her contained to a specific area for her duties.

That is until now, as the snow began to melt I noticed our wall also

lessened in size. The sun shining bright in the sky, beaming…
Continue

Added by Rita Felling on March 6, 2010 at 2:03pm — No Comments

hope

Thursday, March 4, 2010

I watched as some joggers passed by my house today. My eyes following their young thin physiques. Watching as perfectly formed athletic calves carried these athletes. They appeared almost graceful like darting over puddles from the remains of winter. Standing there still holding the phone from the devastating call I had just received, tears began to run down my face.



Once again we were faced with another heart felt disappointment. The drug trial that had… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on March 4, 2010 at 9:31am — 1 Comment

emotions

I sat writing today hardly aware of the time and what day it was. My mind I noticed had been slipping lately. Important crucial duties that were required of me I fumbled through. Tears seem to flow more freely even though I deny there existence. Stopping for a brief moment a small voice somewhere from with in me seemed to make logical sense.



As I watched the decline of my Cody's Strength I to was losing parts of me. While this disease was taking from Cody I too struggled to hang on… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on February 17, 2010 at 8:00pm — 4 Comments

a simple walk

WALK A SIMPLE



I took a walk with Jesus, yesterday. The thin layer of melting white snow crunched under our feet. I shivered from the January north wind and pulled my collar tighter around my neck. Feeling happy, I had chosen boots to wear for our walk. Jesus walked only in sandals and a white flowing robe of cotton. We walked in silence for some time listening to the sounds around us. From the trees above our heads birds could be heard chirping and some children’s laughter echoed… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on January 29, 2010 at 5:55pm — 2 Comments

Sunday, October 4, 2009 If you dare come have a closer look, I smile because; Cody stood for me today again. I pulled him to a standing position from his wheelchair, wrapping my arms around him, to …

Sunday, October 4, 2009

If you dare come have a closer look, I smile because;



Cody stood for me today again. I pulled him to a standing position from his wheelchair, wrapping my arms around him, to help support his balance. While it was brief, a mere 10 seconds, I embraced the strength he found in his failing body. He beamed. His beautiful smile touched me so deeply.



As I sat him down again he excitedly said "see mom, I can stand for you". Yes he did. That was all I… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on January 18, 2010 at 11:37pm — No Comments

Watched the boys swim today. If only we were fish, or a species of man that lived in water. Cody would be walking. I love his independence and confidence in the water. I see so much of him come alive…

Watched the boys swim today. If only we were fish, or a species of man that lived in water. Cody would be walking. I love his independence and confidence in the water. I see so much of him come alive as he becomes weightless. I see him use muscle that otherwise seem to be of no use. Swimming is truly a benefit to his well being.



Josiah has came such a long way from when he first began to go under water. The fear in his eyes has totally vanished, replaced by a confident smile as he… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on January 18, 2010 at 11:34pm — No Comments

Snow was on the ground when we awoke this morning. A lite dusting had appeared in the night. As I opened my door to let out the dog a sharp sting could be felt from the wind. It Seemed our seasons ha…

Snow was on the ground when we awoke this morning. A lite dusting had appeared in the night. As I opened my door to let out the dog a sharp sting could be felt from the wind. It Seemed our seasons had truly changed. The trees were much bearer. On the ground laid massive piles of leaves that occasionally were whirled around by the cool autumn wind. Outside indeed was different.



With this new season I wondered would it bring along change for us. Change that we would embrace. Change… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on January 18, 2010 at 11:34pm — No Comments

Sunday, October 11, 2009 Josiah my youngest became ill this evening. Seems a strain of a virus has interupted our lives. While I held Josiah in my arms this evening he fell a sleep. At last a moment …

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Josiah my youngest became ill this evening. Seems a strain of a virus has interupted our lives. While I held Josiah in my arms this evening he fell a sleep. At last a moment of rest for his fatigued little body. He breathed deep with a kind of half snore and was beginning to feel warm to the touch. Rest was good and needed.



Tenderly I ran my fingers through his hair gently stroking his forehead every so often. My thoughts drifted away from the movie I… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on January 18, 2010 at 11:33pm — No Comments

Wednesday, November 18, 2009 Waiting can be so difficult. It seems as though I have spent much of my life consumed with waiting. While my life will still be filled with periods of waiting, none will …

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Waiting can be so difficult. It seems as though I have spent much of my life consumed with waiting. While my life will still be filled with periods of waiting, none will be has difficult as the past 15 years.



Today Wednesday November 18 my middle son Cody has begun the first stages of participating in a study for treatment of nonambulatory DMD patients with ataluren Cody is the first child to take part in this phase of the study in the world. The… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on January 18, 2010 at 11:31pm — No Comments

My oldest son Zach told me about a story of Internet bullying this evening. It was a story of a young man in high school that had been a victim of Internet bullying, tragically it lead to his suicide…

My oldest son Zach told me about a story of Internet bullying this evening. It was a story of a young man in high school that had been a victim of Internet bullying, tragically it lead to his suicide. He had kept this abuse hidden from his family and apparently his friends. For they too were not aware that it was troubling him so deeply. One evening his parents found him hung in his room. His tragic story now a topic of discussion on line. My heart ached at the thought of someone feeling so… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on January 18, 2010 at 11:29pm — No Comments

t was a delight to spend a warm hour watching my boys swim today. Outside the frigid artic air brought the temperature to zero for a high. Enclosed in this glass room we could see snow all around us …

t was a delight to spend a warm hour watching my boys swim today. Outside the frigid artic air brought the temperature to zero for a high. Enclosed in this glass room we could see snow all around us but the air felt almost tropical. Cody and Josiah with their newly appointed grandma/friend and swim assistant Janice laughed and splashed while stretching their limbs. I have spent a good part of my life trying to bring special people into my sons lives. When physically challenged, playmates are… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on January 18, 2010 at 11:28pm — No Comments

Cody told me today" not being able to walk sucks". I saw some new anger in him I had not really noticed before. He wanted new batteries for his WII remote control, which just happened to be upstairs …

Cody told me today" not being able to walk sucks".

I saw some new anger in him I had not really noticed before. He wanted new batteries for his WII remote control, which just happened to be upstairs in the kitchen. I asked him to wait while I finished assisting his brother. Josiah had been building with Lego's and was feeling his own sense of dependency from Duchenne. He had been struggling to open some new packages of blocks. Lacking the strength to pull open the plastic sealed bags by… Continue

Added by Rita Felling on January 18, 2010 at 11:25pm — No Comments

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