I got your message from the NJ-faces. That's a hard question to answer as I think every person\family is different. For me knowing that our family is there behind us with unconditional love & support is so key. I know folks who think that their family is too involved, and others who think their family isn't involved enough. So I would say offer your help (and bless you for that...) but understand and respect the boundaries that your family members need (and don't be afraid to ask what those might be...) Sorry if I wasn't so definitive with my answer
I saw your message to the NJ Faces group. I live in Bedminster and work in Gladstone. If you ever want to meet for lunch in Chester or get together after work let me know. I'm sorry to hear about your nephew. He is so young and there is very promising research currently. My son is 16 years old and is a very happy and bright young man. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.