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Bereaved Parents

For those who have lost a child.

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Latest Activity: May 3

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Comment by Ana on January 17, 2010 at 9:41pm
Hello my dear friends
It has been a long time since I came on the site to read or share anything. It has been a difficult few months for us here. November 12th Marked the 3rd year of Jeffrey's passing. I often find myself asking has it really been 3 years? And I look around at his empty bed and room and the deep wound in my heart hurts so much I know it's been three years. I've been 'frightened' to come on line. Why? I don't know. It's like if I don't come on I don't need to face my pain. Coming on here and reading about everyone's expeience although very helpful and a blessing, it makes me so sad to be a part of it. It frightens me becaue I have to face the fact that I am without Jeffrey and so are you my dear friends - without your precious boys. I am frightened because we all share a common thread and are bonded by the loss of our boys. Does this make sense? It's so foreign feeling.

Christmas - we survived the holiday. I found myself sink deeper and deeper into depression over the holiday. It was a challenge to get a tree and decorate it for the sake of Gabriella who is only six. But we did it. But I could not face entertaining or visiting my small group of friends. It was too painful. In December I lost two dear friends - Grace who is my age (41) to cancer and Eileen to cardiac complications. Very difficult indeed as Eileen was laid to rest on 23rd Dec.

And if that was not bad enough - on Christmas day at about 3:00pm I had a miscarriage. The sad part was that I found out I was expecting the day before and less than 24 hours later it was gone. I was in shock and devastated. Not sure how far along I was but the pain was so intense and the result showed me that I was a little further along than I thought. I guess with dealing with Jeffrey's anniversary, loosing my job, the two funerals it was just too much. Life sure has a way of biting us in the behind huh?

As we move into January I feel myself getting back to some sort of normalacy. I found a job with lovely people and althogh the work is not challenging enough I am grateful for a job. The weather has been so cold and I love it. Gabriella has gone back to school and is doing well. She too had a difficult holiday and was talking about Jeffrey non-stop. She misses her brother so much. We had a little light this holiday - in the form of 2 beautiful monach butterflies! The amazing thing is that Gabriella found them on CHristmas Eve and they stayed with us in the house for over a week. SHe insists it was Jeffrey visiting us for Christmas. SHe was reduced to tears when the butterflies passed on and has kept them in a special box. Today while outside playing she found 3 monarch butterflies and she cares for them in a basket. She is learning about the circle of life and how everything has a season. She understands that these butterflies were born outside their season of spring/summer and cannot survive the cold. SHe now cares for them - feeds them, takes them for walks and brings them in at night. It truly is amazing to watch my 6 year old take such good care of these majestic butterflies.

How is everyone? I see that no one has been on here for a while. I am hoping each and every one of you and your familys are well.
all my love
Ana
Comment by Kimberly Foernsler on September 14, 2009 at 11:00am
Andrew:

I'm so sorry to hear about your son. I lost Kory at the age of 16 to DMD on August 31, 2007. I still miss him. I'm so happy for the memories that I have
with him. He was such a kind and sweet young man. He never let this disease get the better of him. He was always smiling!!

The memories of him make more determined to help find the cure. I pray for everyone of these boys and I pray that no one else has to go through losing a child to this horrible disease.
Kim
Comment by Robyn Hoffman on September 12, 2009 at 10:44pm
DMD is a heart breaker! Some days it is as if Curt is just away on a trip- then I quickly come into focus of the reality of him being in heaven where there isn't any of the things which caused him to struggle... I have comfort in our memories but, the vastness of getting use to him being gone is Hard!
Robyn
Comment by Andrew Rossiter on September 10, 2009 at 10:58pm
We lost our son William in June to complications with his duchene muscular dystrophy. I would like to offer my support and understanding to those who are going thru or gone thru this terrible time. I think you have to remember all the times and move forward, its not easy and i am not sure i have been able to this yet myself. My son had a full life and he/we never let his disability stop him doing anything he wanted to do from trips across the country, swimming with dolphins, riding in trucks, police vehicles, fire engines, horse riding to swimming. cherish the good times and happy memories as this was what life is about. all the best, Andrew
Comment by Gisel Rivero on August 20, 2009 at 9:35pm
I don't know what to say Kim, but that was just such a wonderful story about Kory and Adam. Yhea my David is turning 4 yrs old on Sept, 2 and his begining to ask all kinds of questions about Dylan. Some are simple like did Dylan love him, and others are much more complicated as to why did this happen?? Like if we really knew why we had to loose our boys. I also like you have the same feeling about wanting Dylan back. I do and at the same time why would I have him back here on all the machines and tubes, when heaven must be such a beautiful and wonderful place. I have said this at loud to friends but of course they couldn't really understand and thats okay they don't have to. I will like always have your family in my prayers
XOXO, Gisel
Comment by Kimberly Foernsler on August 20, 2009 at 1:48pm
Two Year Anniversary

August 31st will mark the 2nd anniversary since Kory left us for his journey in Heaven. Even today it is so hard without him. I still miss him so much. It so hard to say that I wouldn’t take him back; but I told Adam this very thing when he asked me if I wanted Kory to come back home. I do but I don’t. That sounds so stupid but why would I want to take Kory away from some place as beautiful as Heaven must be? Why would I want to take him away from the things that he is able to do there that he could never do here? I think that telling Adam that I wanted Kory to come back would confuse him. Adam asks me so many questions. He asks me stuff like, “Doesn’t Kory need his glasses anymore? What about his wheelchair?” Adam sees some of Kory’s things around the house and he gets curious. I tell him that he doesn’t need glasses in Heaven because he can see just fine now or I tell him that Kory doesn’t need a wheelchair because he can walk & run in Heaven. Adam is amazed and is so happy for Kory. How could I tell him that I want Kory back when I tell him that Kory can do these things now?

Adam loves wearing Kory’s t-shirts to sleep in. Yeah they look like long dresses on him but he still loves it. He has one of Kory’s shirts that Kory wore when he was little that has lizards on it. It was one of those keep sakes for memory purposes. When Kory would wear it to bed when he was Adam’s age, I would tell Kory that the lizards jumped off of his shirt and played games in his bed while he slept. Kory would just laugh. I’d tell him that the lizards played hide & seek and told stories to each other. I would make up different stories that they would tell each other. I told him that when he woke up in the morning they jumped back onto his shirt real quick. Now I tell Adam those same stories and he loves it!! Kory always loved to pretend. We would go on for hours when he was little.

Adam reminds me more and more of Kory each day. Some of our friends even comment about how he looks more like Kory more & more. Sometimes he gets those same Kory looks on his face. I call him Kory all the time. It doesn’t seem to bother Adam. He just says “Mama I’m Adam.”

Monday was Adam’s first full day in kindergarten. I expected to receive phone calls everyday because Adam is such a rambunctious character. But everyday he receives compliments. Kory personality was much different than Adam’s. All I ever had to do with Kory was say I’m so disappointed that you did that. It went straight to Kory’s heart. He would be so sad that he disappointed me. Then he’d make sure he never did it again. He was always so polite and thankful for everything. Adam on the other hand is a different story!! He could careless that he upset me or disappointed me. Will it stop him from doing it again 5 minutes later? Absolutely not!!! Hopefully, he’s only this way with us because we are with him so much.

Sorry just had to take a trip down memory lane as the anniversary date approaches. It makes me feel so much better when I think of these good times that we had together!!
Comment by Mary Sahagun on July 1, 2009 at 6:13pm
Gisel,
Wishing you peace and comfort on the difficult days. Dylan will be in all of our hearts forever! We will never forget these beautiful boys that you can be sure of. Take care
Love, Mary
Comment by Kimberly Foernsler on June 30, 2009 at 7:51am
Gisel:
Think of you and your beautiful family today. Dylan is so blessed to have had you as his Mommy. Dylan touched so many lives in short time here. I'll keep you all in my prayers!!
Hugs,
Kim
Comment by Robyn Hoffman on June 29, 2009 at 10:04pm
Gisel;
You sound very calm, this is a good thing. My thoughts and prayers are there for you, kiddo.
Hugs, from Robyn
Comment by Gisel Rivero on June 29, 2009 at 9:42pm
Today marked the one year anniversary of Dylans passing.. Wow! Its been a year. I dont know how I feel, or how I should feel. I didnt cry much today since I have David and he just doesnt understand if I do cry. I got 12 white balloons that we released into the sky at 5:43pm the time of Dylans passing and it was like we were sending them to heaven for Dylans home welcoming party since thats how I rather feel that today is, the day that god called him back to heaven since his misson was complete here on earth. I still miss him so much and I know that I will always miss him...
 

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