Looking into the future
I would like to know what others do when their little boy speaks of his future. For example, my 5 year old grandson saw a shiny red sports car the other day, and stated that's what he wants to drive when he gets big. We didn't want to ignore his remark, and we certainly didn't want to say anything derogatory. We smiled and agreed with him that it was a really cool car, while cringing inside at the prospect that he may never drive a car. I can't imagine any other way of handling it at his young age. I'm sure my grandson is not the only child to speak about his future. I'm just curious as to how other parents/grandparents handle statements about their future.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Michelle Gonzales on
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I do the same thing. My Nicolas is going to be 8 in June and he talks about how he wants to drive and wants a "bad" or "hot" ride, and if I'm going to buy him a car. I can't squash his dreams right now so I just smile and agree with him and sometimes have to avert the subject elsewhere without him knowing i'm doing this. i also cringe at knowing what the future holds. He knows he has DMD and knows some of the affects it will have on him in the future, such as not being able to walk again, and eventually not being able to move or roll over in bed or even during the day. We let him dream now since he's so young and he'll be better able to deal with it in the future. we're thinking about some counseling for him. Right now his main thing is he wants a bike with training wheels for his birthday. we bought him a motorized little ATV thing from toys r us last year in hopes he won't want a bike.... now this is becoming the hardest thing for me at this time. I smile and nod when he points out the one he wants. i truly don't know if i should get him one even if he'll only ride a bit during the summer, or if i shouldn't get him one at all because it puts unnecessary stress and exercise into his routine. i guess we all just have to deal daily. Good luck with your grandson... and allow him to dream.
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Permalink Reply by Cosmin F on
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I totally agree, we should allow our sons to dream and to dream BIG, as much as we cringe when we think about the future. Boys will grow and will start to understand more and more about their limits and things that are possible or not, but even then they will need to be able to dream, they may not have much else. Dreams will fuel their desire to keep on going and raise above their condition. It's a tough road for boys and parents, that's for sure. One other thing, I think it's okay if we as parents allow ourselves to dream as well.
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Permalink Reply by jenn on
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austin is 11, in a wheelchair, and still dreams of motorcycles...and a cure. he often says mom, when they have something that will help me, will i be able to ride a motorcycle? drive my tractor? ride my atv? we did let him get an atv, he rode it last summer, not sure if he will be able to this summer.he does drive his lawn tractor, when/if he wants to drive a car we will assess his ability then. i say if he can do it, even for a day it is worth doing. i am so glad i let him hike, ride his atv, jump on the bed, run, and even take break dancing lessons (well, one lesson anyway) and we always tell him, we dont know what he will be able to do, but we hope he will be able to do anything he puts his mind to. when it comes to the hard future questions (my younger son with dmd Max asks about death all the time) we answer honestly, we dont know, nobody knows the future. i hope they will all drive fast cars, have lots of girlfriends, and children, and outlive us!
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Permalink Reply by Jennifer Shumsky on
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No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big. Author unknown
It is hard, but we support his dreams and try to fulfill the dreams we can. The one that hit's us the hardest is when Xavier talks about how he can't wait to grow up to be a Daddy, just like his Daddy :(
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Permalink Reply by Liisa Underwood on
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Connor made me laugh when he was trying to tell me I was driving the wrong way. He kept insisting the way I was driving was not going to take us home - of course, it was the right way. So I told him, "when you get your driver's license, only then can you tell me if I'm going the wrong way!" It took awhile before it dawned on me that it may not be something he can do, but at least I laughed initially.
Like most of the parents mentioned, I'll let him dream as much as he wants. He's only 4, so he's too young to really grasp what the future may hold. Besides, here's hoping for the cure! We do our best to prepare for the reality we know today, but always hope for the best.
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Permalink Reply by Lisa Anderson on
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It is hard but I say let them dream. I pray for a cure so who knows, he may drive. Connor talks about being a Marine just like his dad. It is all he has ever talked about. It is hard but I let him dream. Who knows for sure what the future holds?!
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Permalink Reply by christine good on
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Kian talks about getting married and driving. I tell him that I can hardly wait. The power of positive thinking...
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Permalink Reply by Tonya on
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Gus wants to be a veterinarian and I believe he WILL work with animals. Men with DMD are often living into their 30's and 40's these days and have very fufilling lives - read the article in the back of this month's Quest magazine! There are so many new treatments on the horizon.....we shouldn't be sad when our boys talk about the future - we should be excited!!!
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Permalink Reply by Karen Barnett on
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My Daniel watches Animal Planet all the time. He especially loves dogs. He dreams of being an animal rescuer when he grows up. I never squash his dreams. He doesn't know yet at 9 yrs old about the progression of DMD. It's agonizing to know he may never get to fulfill those dreams.
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Permalink Reply by Darcy Tumminello on
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My son and your son may meet up in the future. My son is the same way. He can tell you anything about any animal in the world. It's amazing. Loves animals and animal planet.
Karen Barnett said:My Daniel watches Animal Planet all the time. He especially loves dogs. He dreams of being an animal rescuer when he grows up. I never squash his dreams. He doesn't know yet at 9 yrs old about the progression of DMD. It's agonizing to know he may never get to fulfill those dreams.
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Permalink Reply by Allyson on
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Our sons have futures ahead of them and deserve like any other child (or anyone for that matter) to dream big and make plans for those futures. My son wants to be everything from a superhero to a fireman to an astronaut to a construction guy (typical young boy stuff at this point) ... the only thing that has stayed consistent is that he wants to live at home with us forever. We've reminded him how he won't think that when he gets ready to go to college, but he is not biting. With regard to dreaming of the future, I don't think about what will come ... after all would you be thinking the same thing if your grandchild (son, nephew, whatever) did not have DMD or any other disease/illness/situation? Any one of us could have our futures cut short at any time, leaving us not able to fulfill those dreams - why should we spend our time thinking we might not be able to make them happen? Easier said than done, I am sure, but I strive not to think that way.
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Permalink Reply by Dina on
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My son is really getting emotional about not being able to do anything! He is at the point where he is losing his mobility. A wheelchair full time is coming soon. Do you think that they know when its coming.? Not being able to walk anymore? My son had been so upset for the last couple of weeks. we all try to be positive for him and tell him that we are fighters and he can still try everything. Not to let the disease take his spirit away. I just wonder if anyone is going through this right now or has dealt with it! I am at a loss.
Thanks
Dina
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