Its coming to a year since Timothy's passing. I know the grief will go on. When loosing a child, that grief, that loss never ends. It hurts and will for the rest of your life time. I have my days when suddenly I will burst out crying. Triggers do it. Memories. Songs. Poems. even therapy.
But one thing I have learned through all my ups and downs, I don't have to let grief get to me. I can turn this around and beat the grief in a new way. I know easier said than done. That is part of life. And yes there will still be those trigger moments. Yes there will be those burst out of tears. That won't ever stop. But I know one thing...I can do somethings in Tim's memory. Keep his memory ALIVE. Keep his name ALIVE.
I originally started an organization call..." (Tim's) Rub Your Head Campaign" Tim loved to have his head rubbed. It brought much joy to him. To him (yes I am going to say this) it was like an orgasm. Go ahead and laugh but if you saw the expression on his face every time I rubbed his head, you will understand. But the purpose of the organization is to do something to give back to the community. In November we raised money to help an elderly lady to fix up her house. On March 1- the anniversary of his death, we are raising money for the MS Society (we also have MS in our family) and in April (Tim's birthday) we are doing a Bike-a-thon to raise money for the homeless. Yes the homeless. For six months after Tim's death, I was homeless. Blessed - but got it. So there is no way in hell I am skipping out on those I always had a heart to help.
I know some may be asking why not do something for the DMD Community. Well in a way we are, but for so long we have and there had been family affected with other diseases that its time o give them attention too. Like me, I had a stroke, diabetes, cancer but so far I have done nothing back towards them either. For years I concentrated on Timothy and that cure that never came. So now its time to give back to the community in a different way without forgetting the DMD community.
On the anniversary of his death I am going to do something special that I hope my family and will want to participate. We will not forget him and the meaning of his purpose on earth. Some people may get mad at me- that is fine, but for ever boy with DMD that comes to us, there is a purpose for them to be on earth with us. No we may not get it at first, but we will have those aha moments.
Have you discovered your a-ha moment yet? I know Pat Furlong has, and a few other parents may have also. You just have to look into your heart and ask God and He will show you. At first you may not have that moment, but then...."A-ha!!!" will come to you.
If you are not sure how, I 'll be glad to help you!
Be free to email me if you wanna talk- firstname.lastname@example.org and it doesn't have to be an "A-ha" moment either.