I was talking to my best friend the other day and I was telling her that I had a bad day. I'll call it a reality check, Wyatt could not climb on some planes at the airport and another child younger than him was all over them. As I was telling my friend it just made me upset that he has to go through this. Then she had the gall to say out of nowhere "and you want another child. How are you going to do it?" My husband and I always wanted either 2 or 3 children. We feel that it would be wrong of us to not try to give him a sibling. He always does so much better when he is around other children. Now that Wyatt is 2 we decided to explore the options. I just could not believe she would say that. Thanks for listening. I guess I thought I could talk to my best friend about a hard day a just have her listen, obviously not.

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Jessica: Thank you for your reply about the CVS testing also. I didn't see it before. It just goes to show you that even when you reach grandmother status, you are still learning new things. Terry
I too had a very similar situation with my best friend. I am a DNA carrier, but my husband and I also want more children. My son who has DMD is 2 and we have a daughter who is almost 4. We are opting for PGD/IVF, which gives a 99 percent accuracy rate. It's a process to test your embryos before implanting them to ensure that the DMD isn't passed on. I told my best friend what our plan is and she said, what about Isabella and Gavin? It was as if I wouldn't be able to give all our children the love and attention they need. It seems difficult for a lot of people to understand because I think I nobody really can unless they are facing the same situation or something just as devastating.
Jessica,
I feel for you that you had to endure such a comment from your friend. Many times people say stupid things without thinking and unfortunately, once it is out their mouth, the effect it has made on you will always be there. If you had a child that wasn't pretty or had a speech impediment or was bow-legged or had a learning disabilty or....... would that stop you from having another child? Of course not! I understand that DMD is a fatal condition with a future of hardships and may not be simply compared to other conditions I have stated but my point is that you do not have to give up the greatest gift we are given due to this. I believe that a child with a terminal illness whether it is DMD or cancer or whatever has more to offer in teaching us what life is truly about than anyone else ever can. Consider having more children no matter what others say. Whether you have another child or not with DMD you will be thankful and joyous and have given a beautiful life to another beautiful child.

Marla
Hi Jessica-
I'm sorry that your friend hurt your feelings. Sometimes people just don't stop to think before they say things. I agree with some others here, your friend may have just been concerned about you, and it came out all wrong. When Baylor was diagnosed I had a dear friend, who I must say is a wonderful, kind person, make a comment that we were the right family to have a child with this disease. I thought about that a while, and at first I must admit that I felt hurt by that comment, but as I pondered on it longer, I realized that she wasn't being unfeeling, she was actually giving us a compliment, although in a weirdly worded way.
As far as having another child goes, you and your husband need to follow your hearts. I have 6 beautiful children, (age 24 to 4 years old) and I didn't know I was a carrier until my sixth, Baylor, was diagnosed with DMD 2 years ago. Look what we would have missed out on :)
Just follow your heart.
Marla
Hi Jessica,

The responses you have here echo my experience too. Alexander wasn't diagnosed until the age of 9 years (he is almost 10). Paul and I would not have had another baby if we had known earlier about his DMD. But Max came 13 mos after Alexander and we knew nothing then. Thinking back we concluded Alexander's childhood and life would be much less without his brother, best buddy, and antagonist by his side. It is difficult for Max to know he has a brother with a serious illness, but so far we have managed. Max may not get his full measure with his brother by his side but he will grow to become very caring and compassionate, we can see it already. It is difficult for Alexander to know his brother is healthy, but we manage. Alexander would be lost without Max. I don't know what the future will bring to our little family but I do know we will continue managing and loving each other just as we are. And thats as good as it gets for anyone.

You must do what your heart tells you.
cheryl
Hi Jessica: There are so many options open to you and having more children. My hubby and I are now hip deep in the Erickson method of tipping the scales to have a girl. As you probably know, it's when they "wash" the sperm to lower the "Ys" Then at 8 to 10 weeks into a pregnancy, a CVS is performed to determine whether it's a girl or boy and if there is MD present or anything else for that matter. It is a very non-invasive way of trying to have a girl. If I am a carrier and I have a girl, she will be a carrier, but I also know what is available to me now and how that will be so improved over the next 20 years, that I do not even worry about having a girl carrier. She will have Microsorting available as well as many other options. We really want another child and think it would be wonderful for our son with MD. There is Microsorting in addition to genetic doc's being able to pull out your eggs and tossing the MD ones away. I think your friend just doesn't know what's open to you. But you know better. A few of my friends had no idea of what's even available now. It's amazing what can be done. Go for it, talk to a genetic doctor, if you haven't already. You may just surprise yourself. I am really sorry for butting into your postings, but since I am going through this now, I wanted to share. Please let me know is there is anything I can help you with. I live right near the one and only Micro Sort office in Arlington, VA and that is such a cutting edge method. Noreen
When we had our initial diagnosis, we were told by the doctor to have as many siblings for my son (3 yrs at diagnosis) as we could! It struck me as funny- only because we had started our family when I was already 36 yrs old. I had actually already given him a brother (they are only 20 months apart) and Dylan does not have m.d.--AND at the time of diagnosis I WAS PREGNANT with Sarah LOL.... She is 26 months younger than Dylan. I actually did hope for one more.
Firstly it is not your friends decision. I had my family asking what I was thinking to be pregnant with Sarah and keep the baby! Believe me, I have heard it all. My children are my joy and my kids are together and playing all the time. They are 11 (almost), 9yrs and 7 yrs old.
Well, the doctors point was that siblings are most accepting of our boys limitations and supportive. Friends come and go. Unfortunately I have seen this already.
By the way, my son's name is Wyatt too!
Hope this helps,
Joanne
p.s. I did have a chorionic villus sampling because I was early in my pregnancy. And I was told that
am not a carrier of dbmd.
Joanne
I have 3 children Brier 6, Deacon 3 bmd, and Aja 5 months. Let me tell you it can be hard. my husband works 10-13 hours a day and some days I am just overwhelmed. I feel like I should spend more time w/ my baby, and can get impatiant w/ deac, or expect to much of bri. but when the three of them are all playing around on the floor and laughing and loving each other. it is so worth it. I couldn't handle any more, but there is nothing better than watching your kids interacting w/ each other. I'm sure your friend didn't mean to upset you,but i understand how sometimes you just need a good listener, and to feel like someone is on you side. It is also easier to explain to your own children why to slow down w/ your son, or wait up for him. I realy can't offer much advice,but hope the little i have helps. if you ever need to vent about your day i'd be willing to just listen. keep in touch Alicia
Try not to let others discourage you. There are options available if you're considering more children, but are worried about DMD. Many fertility clinics can now perform Pre-Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) on embryos. They are able to test for DMD, and other x-linked genetic diseases. This also reveals the gender of each embryo, if that's a consideration for you. I believe the PGD generally costs between $3000-5000. That's on top of the other IVF costs involved. Google it for more info.
My understanding is that IVF/PGD cost $20,000 per round.
Irishgirl,

You wrote "if I am a carrier and I have a girl she will be a carrier". She would have only a 50% chance of being a carrier. She could receive the X chromosome without the mutation and would not be a carrier.

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